


Longing

by flaming_muse



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: April Showers Challenge, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-12
Updated: 2010-10-12
Packaged: 2017-10-18 09:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaming_muse/pseuds/flaming_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John was used to longing for things he couldn’t have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> For bethynyc, who requested McKay/Sheppard, longing
> 
> Originally posted to my LJ on October 12, 2010.

John was used to longing for things he couldn’t have: more hours in the air, competent commanding officers, missions that went well, thick turkey sandwiches on dense white bread like Marie, the first housekeeper his dad hired after his mother died, used to make. The hardest of all to ignore was the quiet voice deep inside of him that ached for someone - some particular someone - to touch him with more than the casualness John ever allowed.

What he wasn’t used to was glancing at someone else across the conference room table and seeing that same deep yearning reflected back at him on an open and familiar face. John felt a sharp moment of panic at what it might mean for him, for Rodney, for the wall John had carefully constructed between them... and then Rodney’s mouth twisted into a self-conscious little smirk, and he rolled his eyes with feeling at the IOA official rambling on about their rate of ammunition depletion and its impact on their budgetary woes.

John leaned back in his chair with an answering grin, and Rodney returned to typing on his computer, the only sign that he’d been thinking anything else at all being the flush that had risen on his cheeks.

John watched him for a moment before dropping his gaze to the table. He took a long, slow breath and let it out with relief. Maybe it hadn’t been anything. Maybe Rodney had been thinking about lunch. Maybe he had been thinking about John using a wraith stunner on the official so they could all escape.

But John knew he was lying to himself. It was personal, and it wasn’t something that would blow over. It was only going to get worse. Or better. John wasn’t sure which it would be.

He looked back at Rodney, who met his eyes again with another smirk. John couldn't make himself look away. They held the gaze a few seconds too long, and then Beckett asked a question. Rodney turned to reply.

John watched him, this time allowed, and kept his hands still on the table. He had lots of practice in keeping his body still and relaxed despite the turmoil inside of himself.

The moment had passed, but the longing remained.


End file.
